Thursday, February 17, 2005

Free Orgies Every Morning

After a nap, I set out on a quest to find some Peking Duck. I hate the name "Peking Duck," as it stands as a reminder of the terrible romanization of years past and as such I find it derogatory and racist. That aside, Peking Duck is delicious.

Entering the "Old Duck House," they quickly size you up and send you to the appropirate floor to dine. Level 4, where I ended up, was very ornate, complete with a dragon lady wrapped in silk and fur greeting me off the elevator. At this point, I expected a freshly lit pipe of opium awaiting me at my table.

Alas, all I found was a duck, wheeled out, and sliced up right in front of me. Fresh from the oven, it was perhaps the most succulent dish I have ever enjoyed. I'd rank it as 5 Guys wrapped in a pancake, which makes sense, because Peking Duck is wrapped in a pancake. Grizzly Adams did have a beard.

To wash down the duck, I took in two bottles of beer. Not sure what the deal is, but I was pretty buzzed after those two. Maybe I was dehydrated, or tired, or maybe the big bottles (maybe 20 oz?) are 11% alcohol, or maybe 11 proof, I havent figured it out yet. Either way, I was pretty drunk, and with a belly full of duck and beer after a long day, I was ready to conk out.

On the way back to my hotel I was approached by three girls who actually let me speak Chinese (usually they want to practice their English) and I chatted with them for a while. The embarrassment came when I was trying to describe my hotel, but instead of saying "I get a free breakfast every morning," I actually said something like "I get a free orgy every morning."

They then invited me to see their art exhibit. I should say this is not the first time I've been invited to see someone's art exhibit in the pat few days, but it was the first time by any sort of female. I still don't know if "art exhibit" actually means "art exhibit."


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