The Ballad of John McCarthy

There are strange things done under the Chinese sun
by those who teach young and old;
I have seen Great Walls and water falls
and eaten off dishes covered in mold;
The Harbin nights have seen fun sights
But the most enjoyable I ever did see;
Was that night quite nice and filled with ice
When I was visited by John McCarthy.


Now John and I are Hoyas and graduated in ought-three,
But as Harbin is mine, Qinghuangdao is home to Mr. McCarthy.
He set out on a trip which led to me, waiting at the Harbin train station,
I waited for him in the cold, grabbed his bags, and we set out for an international trade negotiation.


How we got invited to business such as this escapes my feeble mind,
We spent the morning avoiding serious talk or anyone not of our lowly kind.
As we talked of basketball and friends old memories did stir,
But most important was avoiding the Indian who internationally exported fur.


From lunch we went to shop, and from shop to a stroll,
And as we finalized the night's plans we downed beer to ward off the cold.
Then with tickets in our pockets and thermals under our jeans,
We boarded the bus for the famous Ice and Snow World of Harbin.


Oh the lights! On the magnificence! Oh the scope of it all!
Ice castles! Snow Buddhas! Even a sled-able Ice Great Wall!
With snow mobiles, tanks, and even an all-ice bar to enjoy,
I wasn't even shocked to see a life-sized Ice-Tolstoy!


Our party started with seven but quickly fell to two,
Leaving only John and I to see Ice and Snow World through.
But damn be the cold and damn be frostbite's fear,
As we were boozed up thanks to multiple bottles of beer!


When all was said and done the night continued on,
And once again we were with Jordan, Sarah, Rachael, Jenn, and Sean.
Over meat on sticks we made plans for the eve,
Drinks here, dances there, a drunken path we set to weave.


From SongJi to HIT, then later in the night,
A chic new club called "Babyface," where we were the only honkies in sight.
Steadfast Blues was the obvious next spot,
And finally Brezhnev's, whose dumplings I love. Not.


530 AM we got back home, partied out and spent,
Dreading the day's hangover and all of its torment.
There were a few more stories, but nothing worth a decree,
That one night was long and fun enough for Mr. McCarthy.


There are strange things done under the Chinese sun
by those who teach young and old;
I have seen Great Walls and water falls
and eaten off dishes covered in mold;
The Harbin nights have seen fun sights
But the most enjoyable I ever did see;
Was that night quite nice and filled with ice
When I was visited by John McCarthy.